let me start by explaining a few things about sleep in the tuohy house. sweet hubs could sleep for 19 hours a day and still need more. wills and i on the other hand consitantly run off of way below the normal level hours required. wills has ALWAYS been our early riser and up often during the night (yes, we have read babywise ;) ). and while i am so incredibly grateful that i am wired to be able to wake with him, after continuous lack of sleep we both may still “function” but, we both turn into emotional, cranky, messes.
about six months ago wills, in his two year old geniuses, learned how to remove the childproof lock from his door. then he figured that out he could get to momma + dada’s room by himself now that the lock was gone, and he also decided 4am would be a good new wake time. and because that state of mind isn’t good for anyone, insert :: the toddler clock intervention. (adult terms :: a clock that turns green when it is an acceptable time for him to leave his room and come get me).
at that point, we had spent a good four days having him bound into our room in the wee hours. we would gently take his hand and walking him back to his room, lovingly reminding him that he needs to stay in his room until the clock turned green. we did this over and over and over again.
on morning five, i was up with mike BEFORE any little feet came running through our room. I watched the monitor as wills slowly woke up and as my boy just laid in his bed and waited for that light to turn green, i saw a glimpse of God in my own waiting. you see wills has no idea, because i can read time and he cannot, that he only has 15 more minutes to stay in his bed before the light turns green and he is free to come out. instead i watch him on the monitor toss and turn and moan and go from calm to then frustrated to sad all while his little head is spinning probably thinking “that light is never going to turn green”.
i know for his own good and to learn self discipline, control, obedience, he needs to stay there until 7, but gosh my heart LONGED to just go get him out, to see the joy on his face of me coming in, to rescue him. but even more than that, i simply could not WAIT to meet him at his door in NINE minutes now and hug him and hold him and praise him for being faithful and doing well and trusting the time and trusting the time keeper. what a picture of god’s heart that is. he is SO incredibly for us. but he wants the best and he is willing to walk us back to our waiting place and lovingly remind us to stay here and trust the timekeeper, while he watches the minutes count down alongside us with a heart that longs to come get us early but allows the waiting to continue for the best laid plans to happen instead.
how much is my own heart just like my baby boys. sitting and not trusting the clock. not knowing that i have the best time keeper there is. waiting for the very moment to come meet me at my door and open it up and say, “it’s time buddy.” my clock may only have 15 more minutes on it and God may be saying hold on sweet one, you are almost there. or my clock may have 15 years on it and his words would be the very same. just as I am watching every minute tick away, waiting in anticipation to give my child the blessing he so desires. As i sit and long to speak in over the monitor and encourage wills that he is almost there, that we haven’t forgotten him, that the clock and the time keeper are working and doing their job, God is desiring to do the same for me.
i wish i could say wills stayed. but with THREE minutes to spare, wills opened his door. i sat on the other side of it and held his hand for a bit and then entered his room, and sat, and waited with him. both watching for the clock to turn green. because he may have had to wait, but he did not have to wait alone. and you know what, we do not wait alone either.
and the best part. the clock eventually turned green. and we jumped and celebrated and ate waffles and i got to speak sweet words of praise over our boy for being faithful. because grace abounds and even though he opened that door, instead of running out or throwing a fit, he invited me in and asked me to wait with him and together we made it to the finish line. and that deserves waffles.
the morning i wrote this, morning five of that week, i prayed for God to feel present, to encourage my heart. i am so thankful i invited Him in and that He sat down with me and through the beautiful gift of my own son gently reminded me that i have not been forgotten, that the time keeper is doing His job.
the time is set. God is watching alongside us. He loves us.