happy sunday! i had fully intended to send this out in the first days post retrieval, but, LIFE. we went straight from retrieval to me getting OHSS and having a fairly rough recovery, to mike getting the full on FLU!! i think he was just really jealous of all my bed rest time :)… but needless to say this email did not happen!
this week we also saw international women’s day play out. and before i tell you more about how our process is going, i want to say thank you. thank you to the handful of you, all over the country, and even world, who literally helped carry me and my precious family through this past week. who texted daily, who dropped off meals, who offered time and time again to help with wills, and even sent flowers and gifts (what!!) to celebrate, mourn, encourage, whatever we needed each step of this past week. and most importantly, who prayed when my words would not come and believed for our babies when i no longer could. you are the aunties that Jesus creates and i will never be able to put to words what you mean to me, to us, along with our actual sisters, who both loved us in ways we cannot describe. YOU are the women who make this world a better place, the type of women i hope to raise one day. THANK YOU for being IN this with us in the most real of ways.
as usual with us, the actual process has been a rollercoaster of the highest of highs and pretty sad lows…. and sometimes its hard to believe with all the emotions that have passed that we are only 10 days out! but the graciousness of the Lord to give us wills has overwhelmed me the most. we left the retrieval in a good place, had good numbers and were hopeful and excited. the next day we flipped. we got a call that our numbers had significantly dropped, and from the things the embryologists were seeing with my eggs they were pretty discouraged. our doctors, our nurses, nobody expected these results based on our tests and my age. crushed that it was a very real reality that this would not work we began the wait to wednesday for more news. then that news came, and again the discouragement continued. they told us they were giving them one more day to make sure they had stopped growing, rather than giving them one more day to grow. and so we accepted that, i took wills to his well visit and asked about raising an only child and then we started praying for ONE, knowing that would be a miracle. and then… on thursday… they called. we had TWO and immediately Ephesians 3:20 flashed in my mind and i bawled with three years worth of waited joy, i can only imagine those tears if this ends with a baby in our arms.
we are not out of the woods yet, we are in a 2 week wait right now for some final test results. i start birth control tonight (ironic right?) and then once those come in, if we can move forward, we will begin more meds and hopefully transfer in about 6 weeks (late april). and we play ellie holcomb’s albums on repeat until then! :) … and just to be honest about logistics, if these tests come back abnormal, that will be the end of this journey for us and we will move forward as a grateful family of three!
our biggest prayer request right now is to please be praying for these two little babies. there are a few other things i could easily ask for, but that feels entirely important enough to stand on its own this time. we grieve for the ones we will not meet until heaven, i am grateful for eternity to kiss their sweet little cheeks and thankful for their current home and that one day it will be mine too.
and a little PSA. if you are considering fertility treatment i cannot tell you enough how much the clinic you choose matters and how grateful we are to CCRM. they are worth every extra penny. we would not have either of our two embryos without their process. both of them had special circumstances that only CCRM allows, out of all the clinics in the country. if you are interested, email me and i can tell you more about it all if you are considering this path…
thank you, every single one of you.
…and have a GREAT week!!