|y’all. humbled would be an understatement. thank you for deciding you wanted to join us on this journey, to hear more details and to be able to pray specifics over us. it is so much sweeter to walk this path with the support of those around us and we love each of you for choosing to jump on this adventure. this next sweet babe will be sweetly loved, by many. what an incredible gift.
so, right now the update is small, which for me means less than 5 pages, ha! kidding. basically, we are in the month of testing. we did most of these tests back in april last year, that was when we were told we needed to pursue IVF. we decided to wait for a handful of reasons and i cannot tell you how much i have seen that decision be the biggest provision in this process. i could write a whole blog post on simply that, but i will spare you! but with the said, we are not expecting any shocking news from these tests, if anything we are prepared the numbers may be worse but we know our diagnosis and its more a formality and to see where we are at almost a year later. a year in fertility is no joke!
so this is sweet and simple, some things i wanted to be more clear about and then our specific prayer requests.
it’s funny that as i write this a song called “ever be on my lips” would be playing. i ran to this song in april, my first run in 18 months as we accepted our diagnosis and i was allowed to exercise again. it was my promise to the lord that i would continue to praise him even though he was not moving the mountains in our life. a pet peeve i was sharing with a dear friend the other night is when people announce pregnancy with “he answered our prayer”… friends, we believe He is and has been answering ours all along. just not with a yes. lets be encouragers of good theology. He always answers prayers, He just doesn’t always say yes. we are not walking into this confident in the results, we are confident in HIM. we have, some would say, the best doctor in the world for inferility, and we still believe God has to move for life to be created. so we wait and hope in expectation that He will, but regardless of what happens, baby or no baby, we do not believe it is an oversight or a mistake that we are not pregnant. He hears us and He cares, we trust it is with great intention He has not chosen to say yes and trust him no matter if that answer ever changes. He is fully faithful regardless of the outcome.
so, soapbox done. and now, prayers (thank you in advance).
- my biggest prayer is actually for my heart in this regarding caring for wills. i have cried more tears over trying to juggle caring for him and also needing to be at the dr. quite often. his allergies scare me when leaving him and he is our introverted homebody so i worry about him having to be dropped off other places a lot. now, its me, not him, he realistically is excited for friend time at new houses. he also understands the why and is excited for it (although he asks every time i leave if i am going to pick out his baby and bring it home, eek!)… but y’all mom guilt is real and it has been hard. we will get there and in the meantime shout out to my mom and sissy who are moving their entire lives around to fly in and help after my latest meltdown.
- that our results would not be gravely worse than last year. in a few we border on it being a bigger problem and my prayer is us waiting, while we don’t question that decision, would not have caused a bigger problem.
- we did a lot of this backwards because of where i am in my cycle. our hope is that it can all magically fall perfectly into place still for us to start protocol next month for our egg retrieval. for this to happen, a LOT has to happen and there is like ZERO margin. would you pray that it would. and would you pray that if it doesn’t, i can rest in the timing of this and not be discouraged. its already a LONG wait until we transfer any bebe’s back in (think may) and adding months is not my first choice, but have seen goodness in his timing so i will put my hope there, in Him, always. it’s a miracle i can stand in line at disney land (just ask my husband and mom), much less wait for all this! ha!
we have a big meeting on the 25th and we should know more then, and then if all goes to plan hopefully we will re group with our dr. the following week and have details to be able to get started on that cycle. so expect another email around then!
appreciate EACH and EVERY one of you! keep being kind to others, it matters. y’all are keepers!